Grinch downplays ‘shenanigans,’ credits Suess for good looks
By Elizabeth Perry and Erik Trasp
You may have seen him, green and glowering, riding a motorcycle that is two sizes too small.
The Grinch of Moon is back spreading fun and good cheer this holiday season – but has he really changed so much since his crime spree in Who-Ville?
Gazette 2.0 poses the tough questions of the seasonal icon:
Gazette 2.0: Mr. Grinch, you drive around raising goodwill and collecting toys for charity. Is this due to your change of heart or is it merely court-mandated public service for what you did to those Whos in Whoville?
Grinch of Moon: After years of shenanigans, I've been told I must do nicer things in the community. My heart has grown, and the way I see it, if I'm the one that gives away toys, perhaps, I can give toys that make less noise! Less noise means I'll be less annoyed, so everyone wins.
Gazette 2.0: There's never been a more savage lyrical takedown in history than "You're A Mean One, Mr. Grinch." What sparked your beef with its author, Theodore Geisel? Did it have anything to do with the fact that he claimed to have "created" you?
Grinch of Moon: Look, Mr. Geisel's identity is unknown to me. But, if this old Geisel created me, then he must be my father. To which I say, you have some serious catching up to do and explaining to do DAD!
Gazette 2.0: How do you react to claims that Dr. Seuss was not a real doctor?
Grinch of Moon: POPPY COCK! Who do you think made me look this good over the years!? Do you think I look this good naturally!?
Gazette 2.0: You ride a motorcycle now. Can you address the persistent rumor that you got Schloppity-Schlopp after drinking too much Beezle-nut Juice and ran your Zike Bike over a Gluppity Glup before landing in some Brickle Bushes? Did "Dr." Suess help you cover it up?
Grinch of Moon: I'm just going to say one thing... I should not have had that last can of Who Hash.
Dr. Suess and I have a contract that legally states he is not responsible for any and all of my shenanigans, stated as such. In other words, I ACT ALONE!
NOW, MAX!!! FETCH ME MY CLOAK!
At this point the Grinch of Moon stormed out of the interview, leaving a plume of furfurlers in his wake.
IN REALITY, the Grinch of Moon is actually a truck driver with a background in stand-up comedy.
He has asked to remain anonymous but will say that he lives in Aliquippa with his wife and two sons, and began dressing up as the Grinch during the COVID-19 lockdowns in order to “bring joy in a time of need.”
“I figured if I had to wear a mask, I’d do it my way,” he said.
The Grinch of Moon collects money to buy toys for underprivileged youth and donates to several toy charities including, Shop with a Cop and Toys for Tots. He plans to attend a variety of events in costume throughout the month of December and was recently seen at events in Beaver County.
Santa Cop Toy Drive comes to Moon Township on Dec. 9 where you’ll find Grinch shopping for toys at the Moon Township Walmart on University Boulevard. He’ll be there with area police officers and the Froggy Radio Pittsburgh crew, licensed to broadcast from Moon Township. The toy purchases will be donated to Froggy FM’s Santa Cop toy drive allowing local departments to collect toys to present to children they police. The toy drive runs from 1 to 6 p.m.