I 'could not care less' that you're 'living the dream'


If you’re a regular reader of this column, you’re probably aware of my appreciation of great quotes. What you might not be aware of is my disdain for some phrases that have crept into our everyday vernacular.


While having dinner with friends one night, our waitress remarked she was “living the dream.” If passed through the Maury Povich lie detector, her statement would have proven to be false.

Irony is always delicious when served fresh.


Her comment did spark a fun little debate on what phrases we found most annoying. I’m guessing there are a few running through your mind right now.


I’m not sure if you need to “think outside the box” for this assignment, but every time I hear that phrase in a meeting, I get the sudden urge to overturn the meeting desk like a Monopoly board table.


Perhaps, you “could care less” about this topic which in reality means you actually could care less. Now, if you could NOT care less, then you’ve probably stopped reading altogether.

If you’ve ever been “literally thrown under a bus” or your head “literally exploded” then you’re probably in no condition to read this story as well. Then again, “things happen for a reason” and sometimes that reason is you don’t understand the difference between literally and figuratively.


“No offense” though, I “mean well."


No matter what you do, I hope you always give “110%,” well, except if you’re giving blood, then you’d likely literally die. Also, if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can “always fake it until you make it” which is a less clever way of saying we’re all full of bull.


Of course, I can’t leave out the tactful people of the world. So, if you “don’t mean to interrupt” because your opinion is clearly more important than others, then “with all due respect” you’re just being rude, but “at the end of the day,” we can really just “agree to disagree.” How’s that for the grand slam of “passive aggressive” conversation?


Which brings us to the bosses of the world who send nice email headings such as “thanks in advance” or “per my last email” which are just clever disguises to be condescending without trying to appear to be. It might actually draw the ire of your employees who might get the urge to shank a b...oops, sorry, I forgot this was a family friendly paper. Maybe they’ll just communicate Top Gun style.


Hopefully this story wasn’t too painful to read or come across as too mean spirited, but if it was, there’s a French term for it. “C’est la vie” which basically translates to “it is what it is.”

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